No Guts No Galaxy

Klingon Slave Auction at BayCon Convention
This years Klingon Slave Auction at BayCon Convention went off a lot better due to a bigger room and a sizable block to position the volunteer slaves on. I have to thank Dave Hansen for his valuable engineering skills in assembling the box, also supplying the extension cords and sound system, it wouldn't have gone off as well without his input.

A few notes are, I didn't see Flair (security) at the door and it was difficult to keep the drunks in line (next time a whip, chair & a gun) it was a real effort to maintain the mob. From
the responses and compliments I had been receiving everyone agreed it was entertaining, but it felt like I'd run a marathon through a sauna.

We started setting up the Cypress room at 8pm, first we repositioned some of the chairs and then placed a slave stand and moved it around till we had it right...then strung it with red lights on the box, also a string of white lights before the first row of chairs. Next we made sure the air conditioning was on and then we rehearsed our performance with the Orion Slave traders... (a comical skit of Debbie being flung over a masculine shoulder and carried out, you had to be there) at 9:40 I ran up to the room to change to my auctioneers outfit then ran back down. I hadn't been gone twenty minutes and the room was full of people and everyone impatient to get the auction underway.

Eventually I worked my way over to this years collection of volunteers and briefed the rookies in the finer points of offering their best side to the audience. And then welcomed back the veterans who were more than willing to flaunt their stuff before the crowd and then checked with the Klingon's stationed to keep the crowed at bay. Then started the event five minutes early. Our sound system was inadequate and the ceiling was a trifle low, but what can you do, you learn to work with what you got.

I've been in formed that there is enough footage although the camera operator was heavily inebriated, hence there will have to be a lot of editing before we can contribute another flick to "YOU TUBE" If your interested last years contribution is titled "BayCon Slave Auction. Oh one more item is we collected over Nine hundred dollars to donate to the Make a Wish Foundation.
Sort of makes me feel all warm, fuzzy and heroic like, "I've got bragging rights".

Alexander Diaz
a.k.a. El Obi Ben Juan the flesh peddler
a.k.a. Imperious Leader BF-SPG

Current Mood: enthralled

More Astronomy stuff
to; Darrell noted astronomer,

Events of Wednesday, August 27th 2008

It was hot Wednesday with surprisingly clear skies and coinciding with a moon going into a new moon phase. No lunar reflection to mar the heavens for viewing, so with these factors in mind. I get a call from my brother who was eager to take advantage of these events to view the heavens.

He just happens to have my telescope over at his place but before he can collect it, he needs to attend a class at the college. I hint it’s better to attend the class first rather than place the scope in the trunk of his vehicle; don’t want the days heat to distort the mirror & lens.

Arriving at my place to pick me up at around 7:30 pm, I’m ready to go with my laptop in hand to assist in viewing the cosmos. It’s has a sky chart program in real time to quickly assist in finding the celestial objects, even though I’ve a basic understanding and can find most constellations by eye.

We have agreed to head out to Lands End above the Cliff House, where they have the monument to the U.S.S. San Francisco. The Amateur Astronomers frequent this location as it gets fairly dark, but where still in the city and can actually see the glow of ambient light. It would have been nice to go to Mount Tamalpais but you need a permit after dark to be up there, and the rangers will run you off or arrest you.

The suns is setting quickly and we took a moment see if we could spot Mars, Venus, Mercury and Saturn nearer to the Sun. It’s getting dark as I’m setting up the equatorial mount for the scope and already were drawing a crowd of three. I dislike fumbling with the Scope in the fading light; it sort of makes you look inept. Also I’m glad to have thought to bring along my heavy jacket the temperature is noticeably falling by degrees even at this vantage point of being two hundred feet above the ocean, it's getting cooler.

Where set up to view the heavens and focusing on Jupiter, which is just above the handle of the tea pot that is the constellation of Sagittarius. The fifth planet looks impressive with two moons to either side and evenly spaced. It looks like the Goddess was doodling in the sky (..o..) similar to this.

My brother Ralph is pointing out objects that are slowly drifting across the sky and asking, “do you think that’s an aircraft?” has to be a satellite traversing from South to North. Were tracking with binoculars and it’s a vague speck in the sky (satellite for sure) a moment later he spots another one traveling in the opposite direction. The best time to see man-made objects up there, is just after sunsets and the sky is darkening.

We try to spot the Andromeda galaxy but it’s turning out to be a bit of a difficulty due to the ambient light from the city. Also people keep driving up with their headlights ablaze ruining our night vision. Even the Park Ranger drives up and asks “what cha looking at” I can show him but request that he turn off his lights, but then he just drove away. The rest of the evening is the same stuff of headlights coming into the area and driving right up to us to ask “what were doing” because they spotted the setup to view the stars with. I wouldn’t mind it too much if they turned off the headlights and just used the running lights to approach but I’m dealing with un-enlightend mundanes.

Didn’t spot the Andromeda Galaxy but not from the lack of trying, the sky just wasn’t dark enough and we where constantly interrupted. Still it was a good night for viewing although Mount Tamalpais would have been better, maybe will see you up there some night soon. If we stayed any later at Lands End the city police would have made us leave the area for sure.

AD

Sunset
My brother Ralph called on the phone because yesterday, I had the big idea to send him an attachment from Sky & Telescope site. Astronomy is a hobby of mine.
>http://www.skyandtelescope.com /This weeks sky at a glance<.
The attachment shows the Sun setting followed closely by Saturn then Mercury and Venus so close together they could be viewed as one, then followed by Mars. Well he’s excited at the prospect that he suggested we run out to Lands End to view the celestial event.

I had to ask him did he have the telescope with him? He says no and I think about it for a moment but tell him to pick me up because it’s already nearly 6 pm. And not to worry I’ll rummage for some binoculars in one of the storage bins. Oh yes, I found a set of Eight power & Ten power, which means the magnification of eight times or ten.

Which you can read on the binoculars as 10x50 which means they magnify at ten times with an objective lens of 50mm, the bigger the objective lens the more light, great for viewing the stars. Just don’t look at the moon or you’ll be seeing spots and lose your night vision for about ten minutes.

After finding the lenses I search for a warm coat and hat, experience tells me to dress warmly. The first rule amateur astronomers learn is it gets cold after dark, you best believe it.

So I’m standing out in front of my apartment building when he pulls up in his Honda mobile and we race to the ocean. Heading to this location just above the Cliff House and next to Sutro Park. Arriving in time to see the Sun set into a low marine layer that obscures the horizon, it’s patchy at best. But since where out here where pulling out the optics to view the skies, and hope for the best.

Aside from the grumbling about the haze we can see Venus although Ralph argues it’s Saturn, then revises his opinion that it should be higher. I’m puzzled and ask, “did you look at the attachment I sent you?” He’s starting to confuse me also and my teeth are starting to chatter.

Turns out we could see Venus & Mercury together and the faint object to it’s left turned out to be Mars. Seems that Saturn was closer to the horizon and well into the marine layer. I was suggesting we come back out Saturday when the San Francisco Amateur Astronomers have scheduled a star party to view the heavens. http://www.sfaa-astronomy.org/

At this point he looks up and points out a bright object in the southern skies that looks like a it could be our own moon except it’s a bit on the small side. It turned out to be Jupiter in the constellation of Sagittarius, imagine a tea pot in the sky and that would be Sagittarius pouring hot tea on an upside down question mark. Which would be the tail of Scorpio, you can see with the unaided eye. But it looks great magnified as you can pick out the moons, isn’t astronomy fun.
Stay tuned as more developments occur.

I'm now a Privateer
Privateer at Ren-Faire

Friends I have again attended the fifth annual Golden Gate Park Renaissance Faire and recovering nicely from overwhelming effects of revelry. I caroused with wenches, consumed spirits in massive quantities and trod my way from one end of the fair to the other. How my feet and lower back ached with pain at the exertion and heroic efforts to defile myself.

I’m what as known as a four year veteran of having been flogged on the suspicion of Piracy, a tradition set up by my very own crew (how they love me) They at least admit to liking me and want to enjoy a good joke, at my expense of course. However this year I had other ideas and immediately endeavored to foil their plans.

To with I applied myself to the task of petitioning the Queens court for a “Letter of Marque” not the easiest thing to obtain mind you. Having earlier in the week set up a splendid draft of the letter to be submitted, my girlfriend Lady Shayne offered to pen the final document. Let me say it was a thing of rare beauty and even the Lord High Chamberlain commented on it. Noticing the proper use of phrase, title of authority, also of fonts and parchment.

Of course a bag of Chocolate Latinum always helps to expedite the wheels of the bureaucracy. Plus an all out effort to obtain the document ensued, arriving early, and being on hand to collect it and handing over another bag of 15% tax. Chocolate what would I do without it.

Although not without incident one of crew, actually two of them where taken by the Queens Magistrate and where dealt with. I attempted to intervene on their behalf, but without that letter of Marque in hand I couldn’t affect their release.

Aside from that one small brush with authority we continued to enjoy a fine day at fair, although I felt it strange to feel a chill in the air. But most of the fortunate ones clung to their cloaks and capes or anything available. (come her sweet thing and keep me warm) Most times at a Ren-Faire the temperature would be sweltering inferno and bake us in our finery. Resulting in face plants and nosedives into the turf, please pass the water bottle.

I want to say thank you to my loyal crew of Reprobates and all our friends that showed up to stroll and hang with us for the day. Really it was fun.

Imperious Leader BF-SPG

Baycon Slave Auction
Hot Damn,

Hey Kids your not going to believe this but I’ve finally made it onto “YOU TUBE”

Yes friends and neighbors, I’m caught in the despicable act of selling at the KLINGON SLAVE AUCTION. Oh Damn I’m good, to get a look see go to (Baycon Slave Auction) >http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dB4RvZc8Y9Y<

I am now infamous for having achieved a place in Fandom Lore, just by being on You Tube. And of course I’m sending this to everyone I know. Me the auctioneer for the Klingon Slave Auction, I can’t sit still…….

Current Mood: ecstatic

Well to start with I woke up around 11 am today (Sunday and still fully dressed?) and only because my cell phone was beeping. I kinda vaguely remember sitting in front of the computer last night, then finding I had dozed off again. My poor neck was hurting when a stirred much later and with some effort stumbled to bed. The reason I awoke was because I found my cell phone beeping in my jacket pocket, which seemed like it had been doing so for awhile. It was my good friend Captain Bobarossa, who wanted to know if I be at the Pirates festival again for a second day.

To be honest I didn't think I'll wanted to move from this comfortable bed, as I was still very interested in continuing studying the inside of my eyelids. Also my head felt like it was stuffed with moldy cotton and parched like the desert.

As for the Pirate Festival I will say we had such an enjoyable first day (Saturday only) arriving early enough, so as not to have to fight or search for parking. Also I need to point out here the identifying calls of the Pirate brothers in the parking lot, it was like the barking of Sea Lions. Other strange events occurred but I'll get to that later as my saga continues to unfold.

Ten am. In the morning and already there was a line of people waiting to gain entry, which was odd since all you needed to do was just swagger on threw. I like it when it so easy to gain entry and sack the town at ones leisure. Also it’s nice to know interesting folk with lofty titles, Flintlock Jane, Captain Kovacs, Sparrow, Lusty Wench and Tips Here. Oooops the last one was where she wanted the coin placed close to her heart.

Ahhh yes where else can you go and partake of bawdy performances, buxomly wenches and all the treasure of the seven seas to obtain, if you have the coin. Port Royal was never like this or Tortuga and for that mater was Tripoli.

It’s nice to reacquaint ones self to old Sea Dawgs (friends) but I know so many that I couldn’t go five feet without running into an old salt from former days and owed a few coins. Walking on a few feet more to meet old shipmates and more i.o.u’s also more alluring wenches to take your coin.

Finally made it to the food court area of the festival and found a place that had oysters (lovingly) calling my name. Found a spot to sit to hold court “ahh yes my dear and what can this old Sea Lord do for you” care to sit upon my lap. Hey you’re my girlfriend, that doesn’t count, also were making a scene with all this public displays of affection. Hey and just where you think your going, come back here you forgot to kiss my other ear. Yeah!

Time to pull out ye old flask of elixir to share with all me friends, hey don’t drink it all save some for me. At this event people expect you to drink some thing although I didn’t see any booze of any kind but we brought our own so it's OK.

Found a spot called the “Captain’s Nuts” specializing in honey roasted almonds, but also sold a tall tankard of “ICE TEA” I made special note as to it’s location. Also found a location of buttons to buy such as “ooh Shiny” and “Strip him, bath him and take him to my tent” not for me silly. I gave that one to my girlfriend Shayne, I got the female version for me.

Remember those strange things happening that I mentioned, they had two fast ships in the channel doing battle with canon and shot. They were sloops and fine beauties to behold with three masts and red sail. They Looked like they were mounting eighteen guns, didn’t stick around to see who won, as none of them at close range could hit each other. Was way to busy looking at the hussies parading around in there knickers, I think they were from the Jolly Wench and selling their wares.

Of course I’d have been shot dead if I should dare lay a hand unbidden, she being a fair shot. Or she might have slit me gizzard from ear to ear, even though she says she loves me.

Most women I’ve know hold their men either by the neck or arm, not so with mine, a firm hand on me plump rump is fine with me. Again that bit of five or ten feet and meeting old ship mates and another round of how much do I owe you, didn’t I already paid you and where is that map I gave good coin for. You know the usual business.

Eventually we disbanded around four thirty and since I had an invitation to attend a Star Party in Benica, I thought it best to change back to civvies. And that my dear friends, is a different story for later. No wonder I was so tired after such a full day and evening.

Current Mood: Bone tired

Ants in my pants,

Can’t believe that the Second Annual Northern California Pirates Festival starts tomorrow, and I’m already chopping at the bit. The plan is get the posse moving around 8:30 am. in the general direction of Vallejo. Most of the team will travel by land speeder and two will bravely venture by ferryboat, convenient because it lands them next to the event site so you don’t have to walk that far. Either way I’m insisting that everyone arrive early to part take in the festivities, and avoid most of the traffic congestion getting into the area.

Last years event drew 30k with most of the participants appropriately attired, the site looked like a big budget movie set with everyone strutting their stuff and looking knarly. Including yours truly swaggering and posturing. a note here; if you weren’t in costume I didn’t see you. There were a lot of touristias wondering among us that didn’t register on the visual scanners, yeah I know I’m a raging Costume Snob. I’m wondering when that occurred in my head, Oh well, I’m aware of it now.

For those of you that saw me at the years BayCon Convention, were able to witness my new shtick. That of approaching unsuspecting wenches with a lollypop in hand and saying “Piece of candy little girl?” it was a full gambit of responses to the proposition. From complete shock, to surprise and “My mommy told me never to take candy from strange men” Of course that didn’t stop most of the ladies from taking the offered treat.

Of course in you see this Old Salty Dawg also known as the Sea Lord of the BLACK FLEET, remember you’re a Pirate and must ask accordingly. Note a sample phrase “OH my Captain may I have a sweet?”
Hey you know you want it!

Naturally I expect if your taking pictures at the event, you will share the spoils and I'll share my booty of pics.

I has spoken

El Obi Ben Juan

The Sea Lord of the BF-SPG

Belly Dancing at Rakkasah
Hi Najma,

This years Rakkasah was interesting because of the new location, at the Vallejo County fairgrounds next to Marine world. Sorry darling but I think the Richmond Civic Center was better. (hey who said that?) Really didn't like the idea of two halls separated by a hundred yards or the threat of those dark clouds over head. The rumor had it that it was likely to rain, also that concrete floor was eating up my poor tired feet and making it hard on my back.

Speaking of food they rooked us on price and quantity, "how rude!" Spent five dollars on pasta (very cheep to make) and served in a bowl that strangely resembled a thimble. Found a stale candy bar in my costume bag that was wolfed down in an instant, I was so hungry. Aside from being "stale" and all, it tasted good. Oh and one more thing to gripe about, was very limited seating and crowded. There was no seating in the food area, had to stand among everyone else just to eat. "HOW RUDE!!" Also we got charged for parking, damn that was Rude?!

Now for some good news Ashab the troupe I dance with, went on at 7:30 Saturday night and let me tell you we were "GOOD" Oh and so much better than that we made them laugh.... I was fabulous, wonderful, fantastic, splendid and uproariously entertaining. Of course you probably wouldn't know that because, I'm so damn modest and never brag.... (yeah right)

Didn't see you or your name on the dance schedule or for that matter which group you would be dancing with, seems you forgot to tell me. I wanted to take pictures of your performance, images that would be suitable for framing or as they say, for blackmail... I seem to recall you dancing at the Black Fleet All Hallows Eve Bash and didn't you have a costume malfunction... didn't see anything then and was hoping to see something this time... (yeah I know, naughty boy)

Looking forward to hearing how it was for you and hope to see you at one of the up coming BF-SPG events.

Warm Hugs & Smooches

Back from Rakkasah -Belly Dancing
My Dearest Shayne,

Another successful performance at this year’s, Rakkasah for troupe El Ashab and of course the folks backstage where running late as usual, say about twenty minutes behind schedule. They had us backstage awaiting our queue, our moment to strut out like the troopers that we are. Still we dazzled them with our professionalism, timing and polish, while I being the prime Ham that I am, shined like a rising STAR bursting with talent. (Did I mention that I'm Modest too....) We made them giggle, laugh and guffaw, even Ancilla had a smile on her face and admitted that I was good on stage.... can you imagine that, she said, "I was GOOD."

Promise me you'll ask her how my performance with the girls proved to be the high point of the evening, we shone, our luster was bright. She's a good girl if she agrees that I was the talent on stage. Make her sign a testament to my talents; grill her under the hot lights till she confesses. (Awe come on, I’m just kidding, really)

Although I must report that she herself fell off the "Being Good Wagon" she was muttering under her breath that she must be good, even urged me to help her. Case in point we just happened to wander by the Chocolate concession, variably draped in a mountain of sin. I'll grant that she responded reluctantly but she did respond when I assisted, her return to the straight and narrow away from the chocolate temptation. But after twenty feet or so the sirens call proved too much for the girl, I can bare witness that she succumbed "a slave to her sweet tooth" Now when temptation says jump, she says how high on the way up, "Watch your head baby your headed to the Moon"

However the sour part of the convention is the new location at the Vallejo, fairgrounds. I still can't believe I actually miss the Civic Center in Richmond. They had us in two halls a hundred yards apart and with the threat of rain constantly looming from the dark clouds overhead. I could hear people just grumbled under their breaths, too cold and the trek between the two halls. They charged us for the parking and squeezing every penny for serving too little food to cover a measly bowl that strangely resembled a thimble. And I chaffed at paying the toll at the Vallejo and the Bay Bridge.

I ask you, is that anyway to treat a Star?

Still Your Most Ardent Admirer

Alexander

It's Raining out there
Got up this morning to the sound of pitter-patter of the rain on the window and a stiff breeze moving the tree branches up against the building. I was up early enough to gobbled down some toast & jam with my mint tea and sprinted out the door. Exiting out the door puts me in the courtyard of the apartment, it’s sort of like extra space for me to enjoy during the summer.

But this morning it was cold dark gray skies that got me wet as I exited out the gate on to the sidewalk. The rain was coming down on my street something fierce so I opted to pull out the old Jedi Mobile from the carport to avoid a drenching getting to work.

Back in the day I use to drive a postal vehicle to deliver the mail and one of the safety procedures was to drive with the headlights on during the rain. Something about being seen by other drivers if their windows fogged up, I still do it as a matter of course. Although, most people don’t turn on the headlights in a rain and seem perfectly happy to have fogged up windows.

These days the next safety tip is wearing a head set for my cell phone to keep my hands free, I like being safe. Only today along with the high winds and pouring rain are other drivers driving like maniacs, swerving to avoid fallen tress, branches and stalled vehicles. Also they usually drive with the cell phone in hand and intently conversing with whoever it is they need to yell at. Also I’m sorry to be in my lane but your drifting into mine and I’ve nowhere else to go in this heavy traffic. So screw you too.

The rain is still coming down while the wind is buffeting my transport and I’m trying to avoid hitting work crews having to clear the mess to keep the lanes open. Driving along Golden Gate Park on Lincoln Way to approach Ninth Avenue where I work at the San Francisco Botanical Garden. Visibility is nil and it’s only 8:30 in the morning, feeling I need to make reservations with Noah, for a berth on the ark.

Now I’m worried the parking lot is flooded with only one other vehicle parked up close to the building, which is a good idea so I did the same. Entering the office and it’s dark so I yell out “Good morning” and a reply from the Park Superintendent saying, “Hi Alex”
Well I’m not alone but I need to turn on the lights and my computer and get the place ready.

This is strange at fifteen minutes after the hour and nobody else has arrived, the super has said there are reports of trees falling over in and around the park, blocking traffic. Nobody is coming into the garden today and suggests I go home. Yeah I’m heading for the back door to leave and as I open the door, I hear the wind howl then a loud crack. Looking up to see a large branch fall off of the big tree near the parking lot and crash loudly to the asphalt. I’m thinking surely I felt it move the ground but it missed my trusted wheels by twenty feet.

Yep I’m out of here if I can just drive beyond the fallen branch that I see when I drive by is as thick as my thigh. Luckily I’m heading home to catch the news. So have a very good weekend everybody.

Oh Gosh, I don't do mornings very well and I wish that goddamn bird would shut the F*** up or just fly away. Hate feathery fanatics that have to sing..... it's Sunday December 16th. 2007 What a strange weekend already, attended a memorial for my girlfriend's sister (she was so young 58) we only met a few times. I remember the first time, my girlfriend dragging me off to see her because she wanted to know, who is dating her older sister. (strange word my girlfriend, she's a woman)

We arranged to meet at a coffee house in San Rafael "Muffin Mania" Felt like I was under a microscope "like some kind of virus" and I was yammering because I talk like that when I'm that nervous.

She listened while she looked me over and commented to her sister "he tells stories doesn't he" asked me a few questions more like an afterthought and finally said " OK you can date my sister" it was then that I became aware that had been holding my breath.

Like I said it was a very nice memorial and Shayne had made a DVD of pictures that chronicled both their lives to music. It was very impressive, I've got to get her to show me how it's done maybe put something similar on my web site http://www.blackfleet.org

She had family to deal with and sent me off with friends (we had discussed what I could do to help but her friends and family had it covered. I'd have been a third wheel so I was dismissed to attend a "Klingon Kristmas Karnage" gift exchange and feeding frenzy (no costumes)

Was still wearing a suit when I arrived at the gathering and everyone commented that it was supposed to be a casual affair, I had to explain that if your at a memorial you have to dress up to show respect. A couple of the ladies complimented that I clean up fairly nice, then handed me a glass of wine and commenced to schmooze the night away.

Had to answer questions as to why my lady wasn't at the party.... I called her on my cell phone to let her know I'd rather be with her, but she had to tell me they where off to have dinner at a restaurant. Will talk tomorrow she promised and thanked me for everything, saying that everyone appreciated that I dressed up for it. I could hear a smile in her voice that told me I'd made points.

Phone messages from last night asking if I'd like to attend a gathering in San Jose and another to see a film "I am Legend" in San Francisco. I'd rather just sleep in but it was already 8am and besides it would ruin my internal clock to pick up another bad habit.

Good Morning Already

Rocky Sqirrell doesn't fly
Would have posted this last week but was busy with getting ready to go to SiliCon Convention. Must ask the Goddess to pack more hours into a day, just don’t have enough time to do everything.

But now for the reason I’m posting is to share this true story, I’m working as Receptionist at the Library of the San Francisco Botanical Gardens. They keep me busy with data entry, answering phones and greeting people that want to use the Library or see the exhibits. On a daily basis it varies from a rush of people to quite moments where I can actually hear the Hawks, birds or see a squirrel come up to the open door to my area.

To enter my area you walk threw the gate into a courtyard over grown with fauna and trees. At one end are the windows of offices and to the right of that, the open door to my small entryway into the Library.

Each day a squirrel whom, I’ve named Rocky, “pun intended” visits while foraging for food. I need to point out that where not allowed to feed the wild life, as their bold as brass and have been known, to run up your leg to steal your potato chips or sandwich. Also the Canadian Geese on migration stop over for a day or two, they are aggressive and act like they learned such behavior while they where in Oakland.

However my story is about Rocky who one day ventured into the Library while I was answering a question for a couple wanting directions to the Japanese Tea Garden. While I was speaking directly to the lady, her beau was standing in the doorway. Out of the corner of my eye I see the squirrel making his way threw the reception area and into the library. Without thinking I yell “Rocky get your funky ass out of here!”

A variety of events happend simultaneously as she jumps from my outburst and looks in the direction I’m yelling at. Her beau steps forward instantly, to see if he can save his lady from the screaming Mad Man. At that moment I’d swear Rocky flipped me off as he bolted into the Library area and heading for the far wall.

The head librarian is alarmed at my outburst and demands to know what is going on, while I’m monitoring Rocky’s progress among the racks of books. I announce that the squirrel has entered the library and the Librarian calmly says, “get it out of here” Now I’m considering the best course of action as I usher people to the exit. But it’s apparent that nobody wants to leave, as they want to bear witness to great hunt about to unfold.

I’m not wanting to chase the critter around in a game of hide and seek, plus he’s got teeth and not afraid to use them. While I have fingers with an opposing thumb that man has learned to use to make costumes and prepare food. I’m not ready to offer them up as bait.

Damn right I’m afraid of the little bastard and the only thing I can think of is to herd him into the direction of the children’s area, that has big windows and low bookcases.

Rocky also had the same idea as freedom beckoned threw the glass to the outside world, only the windows where closed. I approached cautiously and could here him bumping loudly behind the low bookcases and occasionally jump up for the windows.

I reached for the cord to open the curtains just a little bit wider and moved to unlatch the window; all the while the thought of razor sharp teeth was foremost in my mind. Had just unlatched the bottom and pushed the window open, followed by a blur of fur as Rocky flew past.

Found that I had pulled my hands up close to my body and with effort was attempting to breath again. Turned around and went back to my desk and everyone else was going back to what ever it was they where doing as if nothing had happened. While I was quietly counting my fingers over and over.

Order of the Phoenix
Oh Jeezuz, can’t tell you how much it pains me to have seen the fifth episode of the Harry Potter series, “The Order of the Phoenix” not that it was a bad film. “No” The bad part is getting home after four am. And for this old fossil it’s not a good thing, I’m dragging my sorry old over sized plump rump today. I need way more rest to function even remotely properly and a months worth of beauty sleep to even look descent among civilized folk.

(Yawn) nice movie although if you’ve read the book your going to notice some changes that will slightly irk you to blurting out “hey that’s not in the book”
Well actually it was only it got changed around to make the move run faster….

The Deathly Howls arrives on July 20th. The bookstore in my neighborhood (Haight-Ashbury) will have a book premiere party and my group (BF-SPG) will be in costume to help launch the festivities. Speaking of which Dakron, was attired as Professor Snake (yes, he wants the typo error) and I was Alistair Obi Diebold. (Ministry of Magic Official) Many ladies had commented on my resemblance of looking remarkably like Albus Dumbledore. Sorry I don’t see it and my good friend Albus, is too important a personage to appear at such events, as the running of Hogwarts takes precedence over such matters.

I offered to stand in for him and as a Ministry Official will oversee the Owl’s testing of the fifth years.

Continued Report
Report continues.
Blink, blink after a long nap and it’s still Sunday, I should continue this report for the Pirate Brethren. I’ve been reading the Twix messages from Trebor, who’s been at the Festival all day…. aside from all the swag and plunder still no booty. Although they have been referred to him as “mi lord” sigh and here all I get is “dirty old man” But I think that’s due to the ladies of the Black Fleet I keep company with. They wink and caress my cheek when they jokingly refer to me as “the dirty old man” I just hope nobody takes them too seriously.

I’m still tired even after a long nap; I was all cranky this morning. Not fit company for man or beast or even being around polite folk. I was such a grouch and looking in the mirror didn’t help any, because I looked like death warmed over ….. But enough about wonderful me.

Did I mention that the costumes looked as if you walked onto the set of a big budget pirate movie. I’ve already said enough about the men’s costumes. Let’s say something nice about the ladies and there where some very elegantly dressed ladies, in the latest styles. Some of the local tavern wenches where quite alluring/ what am I saying they all where. Quite a few where painted up strumpets that looked like they just slapped Captain Jack in the face, for some inappropriate transgression? Of course he deserved it, can’t trust a pirate especially when he’s well into his cups of rum.

Ran it a lot of people that I know from all over and everyone of them looked dazzling in their resplendent outfits. I was so proud of them, they took the time to come down and offer their support, of course any chance for a costumer to show case their talents and that’s including me…
more later.

The NorCal Pirates Festival
I’m back from the First Northern California Pirates Festival that was in Vallejo, and I am totally exhausted from all that fun. And first off I can say that the sun was shinning and warm that glorious day, but thank the Goddess that there was a blustery wind to keep us cool. For the Pirate Brethren where out in FORCE, strutting their stuff in all their finery and armed to the teeth.

It was an excellent showing of costumed attendees to support this event, some of which I recognized seeing at BayCon, and the Ren-Faire. Blimey Laddy, we looked so “Damn Good” promenading about to show off our outfits. To see and be seen in beautiful feathers that adorned hats, also fine leathers that where fashioned into doublets, coats and bodices over delicate lace. And that was just to describe the men, the ladies where out to entice your money and take your spiced rum right out of your hand. You could consider yourself lucky if you got your tankard back. Such was a day at the isle of Tortuga, the Pirate Strong hold in these waters.
Report to continue later.

New Computer
Just got another computer and now I have to re-login to Live Journal, such difficulty it has become to do this....... couldn't remember my password. Had it written down somewhere but even that was a head ache looking for it, I out smarted myself again. Thinking I'd put it in a safe place that would be easy to recall and recover. But no, not me, it was in the last miserable place that I looked. lord save my from my bright ideas.

Back from BayCon
Ahhhha, By the Goddess,

Oh yeah I'm paying for it now, I hurt all over now from the bottom of my feet, my legs, also my lower back and up to my shoulders. An operatic choir of complaints from muscles, having to endure all that stress of standing so long on concrete also the lack of sleep contributes to this sad morning. In truth I can honestly say, “at the time it was really worth it” enjoying all that non-stop fun at Bay-Con. But right now, I’m paying for it Big Time…….

Tis’ a rousing tale of carousing with worthy friends and all collectively contributing to my delinquency, not that I was trying to be an alter boy. However, I think there is a spot for me in that “Theological Realm of Eternal Punishment” I’ll save you a spot close by.

I reveled and caroused shamelessly with Klingons, Rogues, Heroes and every beautiful Winch that was about. I danced at the Regency, boogied down at the Rocky Horror, and shook my booty at the post masquerade dance or any other location that had dancing.

Lounged and hung out at any intersection that afforded me a place to see and be seen in me New Pirates Coat, Wizards Robe or Gentleman’s Frock Coat and my BF-SPG officers leather flight jacket. Damn I hate to admit it but I looked good, even if I do say so myself.

I liked the hotel even though it was a bit small/cramped; it had all the amenities conveniently located to keep me appeased. Also if you took the time to walk about, you could work your way threw the maze and find short cuts to every floor and location. Couldn’t complain when I found that I had a suite to lounge in, complete with two flat screen TV’s and I was truly amazed that some people had lofts to their rooms.

Wasn’t able to see the Masquerade, Trailer Park or a few other events due to the lack of appropriate size to handle the venue. The convention handled this by having people stand in line for hours to get a ticket/wrist bands to view these events. I found this solution as a little too taxing to my legendary patience and opted to forgo the pleasure.

Most people where aware of me actively recruiting ladies for the Klingon Slave Auction for Saturday night. I was in charge of the Auction (how I love my job) and I worked hard to make it a success, of course with the some help. I wrote the “copy” for the release to the server list, and the Klingons (Dave) made the fliers to be strategically posted threw-out the convention.

Although the hotel was small and a little cramped, efforts were made to accommodate the event. Sadly we had to set up outside by the swimming pool area, a far distance from the Klingon Bar “The Black Hole”. Where best and nothing less is served, the finest intoxicants and liquors this side of the galaxy, are at this establishment.

My thanks to the grand Admiral, for sending an elite squad of Klingons to maintain the peace as security guards. The Admiral himself arrived to personally inspect and approve of this years freshly assembled product for sale. Even though we had to compete with the Masquerade event, the few ladies that did arrive where of top quality “Eye Candy” and none went for nothing less then one hundred dollars.

And ladies, we did have male product for sale although they where usually, late entries. Except for one Heroic Highlander who thrilled the ladies that had assembled to view the sale. My worthy assistant Bon-bon (an honored Black Fleet member) was the designated slave handler this year and with a well practiced hand. She was able to display this year’s product to full effect. She caressed his abdominals, pinched his nipples, turned him around and smacked his behind. Then lifted the back of his kilt to reveal to the delight of the ladies that he was indeed, (his butt cheeks) where regimental and a credit to his gender.

Last but not least I need to mention at this point, that Bon-bon herself took the opportunity to jump onto the Slave Block. She was eager to see how much she would bring in. She was dressed if you could call it that in her Zatanna outfit, of High heel sneakers, Fishnets, Black Corset and crowned with a Top Hat & Long tails.
A true femme fatal, deluxe version.
(See Adam Hughes) http://www.justsayah.com/pages/AHpg4.html#
She posed, preened, tuned, twisted and smiled to best effect to achieve a good price for the Eye Candy. She was not disappointed and in her own words “she was gift wrapped”

I hope you all had a good weekend
Hugs to All

Slaves Needed at BayCon Convention
Volunteers needed to be sold at the Klingon Slave Auction at the BayCon Convention.

An exciting opportunity to be placed on the famous Klingon Slave Block, to be sold
to the highest bidder for the extreme Pleasure, of your exquisite company.

The chance to brag to your friends that you did the booty dance to Enhance the bid,
just to acquire the sweet fine that is you.

Sign up at “THE BLACK HOLE” a fine Klingon establishment featuring the finest exotic
intoxicants this side of the galaxy. Only the best and nothing but when you buy at
“The Black Hole”.

Spices, Slaves and weapons all kinds, ships and all legal beverages. Klingon Blood
Wine, Phaser Shots, Romulan Ale and the ever popular Warp Core Coolant are featured.
The bar specialty is REVENGE, a drink best served COLD.

Under the authority of the Ring of Fire Fleet, the Black Fleet-Star Pirates Guild and
the Orion Slave Traders Guild.

RAKKASAH BELLY DANCE CONVENTION
Well your dear friend Alex is at it again, he's making a fool of himself with all the girls in the “El Ashab” dance troupe, who will be performing at the upcoming Rakkasah West event. Please be advised that you are invited to see us dance Sat 3/17/07 at about 9-pm at The Richmond Civic Auditorium, (at 27th and Niven streets in Richmond, CA)

For more info go to
http//www.Rakkasah.com
and look up Rakkasah West 2007

If seeing Alex dance and shake his over sized hinny isn't incentive enough please remember this, it’s the biggest Belly Dance convention in the world. There are hundreds of dancers on stage and threw out the day, with plenty of opportunity to shop about. Ladies you’ll just love this place for the exquisite costumes in an infinite variety of styles and colors that you’ll be able to try on. And the boys will truly enjoy seeing you try them on…. I know that I did.

Ladies we are talking a gender ratio of about 100:1 in favor of women (all shapes sizes and ages), Dancers all.... It’s an event for Women, by Women, in Celebration of Women.

The event costs $15 for the entire day so get there early for a good parking spot, as it’s very popular for those in the know. And now you are enlighten to join in the fun.

Hope to see you there
Hugs to all
obi-Have

LIGHTSABER SAGA
Lightsaber Saga,

Hey I out did Skywalker and this is how it came about, although somewhat haphazardly. It started the Saturday evening after returning from WonderCon, I’m exhausted from the days festivities and couldn’t wait to get to bed. Well I’m still attired in my resplendent Jedi costume and unloading the famed Jedi mobile. I’ve found my Lightsaber and place it on top of the vehicle, which has a
bicycle rack tray, right there. Went upstairs with my travel bags & plunder from the convention and fell on to the pillow that was calling my name.

After an evening of intently studying the inside of my eyelids I awake to aches and pains from the previous days revelry, sore tired feet, lower back pain from walking on concrete and too much fire water. It’s early and I’m supposed to go to rehearsal for a belly dance event that
“El Ashab” is scheduled to perform at. We will be on the main stage at Rakkasah on March 24th.

However it’s Sunday morning and to tell the truth, I’d rather sleep all day, to recover from all that fun. But I promised the ladies not to worry I’ll be there, what I do to be the hero. Then I pick up Debbie around noon and we go to West Lake Shopping Center to look at fabric then hit
HWY 280 heading for Sunnyvale.

In route were enjoying the county side near Woodside, when we hear this loud thump and Debbie looks to me and says, what was that? I’m looking in the rear view mirror and I see this bright shinny object hit the freeway behind us and bounce sky high….. My mind is racing and realized that “it’s my Lightsaber falling off the back of the bicycle rack”. My mind is numb with the thought that “I’m such a dumb shit to forget that it was still up there” (cry me a river) I went blank with shock, were cruising around 70mph.in the fast lane. When my thoughts finally come back into focus, I can hear Debbie saying “Pull over now”

Pulled my shredded wits together enough to negotiate pulling over to the right lane in a safe and sane manner. Slowing down to pull off at the next off ramp, I look over to hear Debbie saying, “ We're going back for the Lightsaber Exit HERE!" We exit at Canada road and go back to exits at '92. And get back onto the freeway to retrace our route. The plan is to travel the shoulder of the slow lane, looking for debris on the shoulder or in the road in the hopes of retrieving my prized possession.

It’s a Park Saber with some history; I’ve had this puppy for nearly fifteen years. And it was told to me by Jeff Parks himself, that it was one of his proto types, before he started producing the lighted blades.

We ride the slow shoulder at 5 miles an hour looking and looking but see no debris at all. I tell Debbie that I remember that we had been traveling in the fast lane, so she says " We're making a second pass... in the fast lane". We turned off at Canada road and this time back- tracked only as far as Edgewood, Debbie has an idea to ride the fast lane, only we slow down to fifty mph. We make the pass in the slow lane. No Lightsaber. I'm getting sick. " I think it fell off further back" I say. "Ok, we're making a third pass " replies Debbie, "three times, a charm".

We exit Canada road for a third time and this time turn around at the vista point halfway between Edgewood and 92. On the freeway things gets dicey at best we are going 50mph in the fast lane and stopping on the left hand shoulder, getting out of the car periodically to check out every shiny metallic fragments we see. Then, I see it. I screech the car to a halt on the left shoulder 15 feet before the shoulder ends and the construction begins, parked between two orange plastic pillars. I sprint a few feet back to the spot where my baby is just lying there all hurt and bruised.

Remarkably my old campaigner is mostly intact, except that the emitter housing is missing and there are deep scratches on the handle. But it’s still amazingly intact.

I’m thanking the FORCE for not letting our efforts go unrewarded and hand the Lightsaber to Debbie. To her credit she cradles it lovingly and we jump back into the vehicle and make our escape. We now realize what we did and thank our lucky stars that we hadn’t seen the Highway Patrol. Or for that matter, had not gotten rear-ended….

Maybe the FORCE is still with this old fool, after recalling all the adventures and history of this Lightsaber saga and another story to tell. At least I got my Lightsaber back, Skywalker just losses his. (I’m shipping it back to “Doctor” Parks for emergency repairs)

Thank you Debbie for being there for me.

Advertisement